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Monday, November 26, 2007
"Blasted her in the face like a Jackson Pollock"
I'll come to that quote later but first up, as always, some incredible WHO-scuttle. I came across some very interesting information tonight regarding a HUGE spoiler from the next series. So big that I will not type it out. I gasped when I saw the on-set pic. If you want to know more, then feel free get in touch - leave a comment. Chances are it will be in the papers tomorrow. DAVEY T in pyjamas-shock? Go HERE to find about his lustful acts with his new g-friend.

Nice chair, hair boy!

THE SARAH JANE ADVENTURES came to an end and, although the final episode wasn't what I had hoped for, it was a fantastic little series. I had hoped that the last episode would be a crossover a la the TORCHWOOD finale but sadly not. Visions of The Doctor stopping by to lend a hand filled my head but it wasn't to be, instead we got the return of someone else, but I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet. Viewing figures for the show have been incredibly high - CBBC got its highest ever - with the BBC1 showings averaging over a million. Not bad but one wonders how well it would do if it was broadcast on a Sunday afternoon... Can't wait for the next series.

NASA shoots one off into the atmosphere.

NIGELLA (hmmmm, snort) was back after a short break and she delivered some exquisite expressions. Take "squadge" for example. And then think of the way she says it.... Hhmmmm, snort. After that I nearly spat out my little 'ole brain when she purred, "sponge mound". Reader, I almost ruined a perfect pair of pants. Use it in bed when you can! Like, "Don't you dare squadge on my sponge mound". Crikey!

Squadge! Sponge Mountain!

And so to the quote of the week (see title) which came from SETH GREEN in his ENTOURAGE cameo when the gang visited Vegas. I did giggle, a very descriptive simile I think you'll find. Some lovely skat-work in THE MIGHTY BOOSH as they delivered another terrific episode. NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS was, again, excellent with AMSTELL showing off his more acerbic side. When he actually stated that COURTNEY LOVE was responsible for KURT COBAIN's death and she made it look like suicide, a disclaimer appeared stating that he is 'definitely wrong'. Yeah, whatever....

This is what scientology (other crazy religions are available) does to you.

Final word on the glorious return of FUTURAMA. Although it will be broadcast as 4 episodes, it really didn't seem like it would lend itself to that format. The narrative lends itself to the 90 minute form and the story gets a the right amount of time to breath. Word is that the episodes will be re-edited to suit that format. Dunno how that will work out so I encourage you to see it as intended. Again, stout work fellas. Stout work.

Ass!

Finally, after a three month break (probably the longest in my life) I took a trip to the cinema. And what a trip. I have seen the future of cinema and it is 3D. What the eff am I talking about? Reader, I'll tell you. BEOWULF roared onto screens in a very real and 3D fashion. First up, the actual film - the plot, script and acting - is pretty naff. Yeah, that's right, I just used the word 'naff'. Some of the lines are excreable but the performances don't help either. HOPKINS is ok and WINSTONE gets by although is pretty poor by other voice artists standards - stand up cast of FUTURAMA. Even worse is JOLIE and MALKOVICH - who suffered from, what can only be described as, WTFAYD? That's What The F**k Are You Doing? Or even saying. The only decent voice is delivered by the always watchable CRISPIN "Asked For Too Much Money So Didn't Get To Return In BACK TO THE FUTURE II & III" GLOVER who, ironically, slevers all his lines all over the place.

Arnie loses the set of his new movie.

So, why is this the future? Well, in a cynical way it's the future 'cos Hollywood doesn't care about quality but in a very real and meaningful way the format is incredible. This is, truly, film as spectacle. Even though I listed a slew of faults, the 3D digital format disavows you of any negative feeling and you get swept along in a sea of wonder. The detail was stunning and I spent so much time just looking, studying that I had no idea what they were saying or what was going on. The sense of depth was beyond superlative. Technically, I was mesmerised and I was filled with a sense of viewing the future. Probably the same way the French felt when the watched the first Lumiere brothers' films. What was worth the ticket price alone (I didn't pay though) was the trailer for TIM BURTON'S THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. I felt my body convulse with excitement when the logo appeared. I hope the cinema get it soon, it looks flippin' marvelous. I now want all films to be 3D, nay I demand it!

Indy helps the poor in one of the less interesting scenes in the upcoming flick.

Also on my roster at the weekend was AMERICAN GANGSTER and RATATOUILLE. The former was pretty good although I ain't a fan of CROWE and WASHINGTON kind of slept his way through this. The story was engaging enough (even though much of the dialogue was anachronistic - 70s guys talking like Noughties dudes, don't match) and RIDLEY SCOTT took a few pages out of his brothers book, namely TRUE ROMANCE and MAN ON FIRE, as well as relying on his own greatness (discuss) to pull the film through. Great soundtrack too. The latter was a bit of a disappointment. PIXAR, again, have failed to better, or even equal, their previous releases. It outshines CARS easily but falls way short of THE INCREDIBLES. The animation was sublime and the voice work was good but, I dunno, something was missing. Do I really care about a rat who likes to cook and gets visited by the ghost of a famous chef? Honestly, no. A great way to enjoy 90 minutes or so but it didn't really stick in the mind. No great laughs either. And, like BEOWULF, I spent a lot of my time studying the graphics - especially the boat scene at the beginning of the film. They have to kick it up a notch with their next release. The pic above made me smile - HARRY F does some charity work with his squeeze CALLY F and kids on Thanksgiving Day. Well done Indy - still a man, a human man. I like the way he has to wear a badge with his name on it....

She should be so lucky!

Music-wise, I 'got' "Under The Blacklight" by RILO KILEY as I thoroughly love their new single "Breakin' Up". The rest of it is tip top although it got a bit MOR at times. KYLIE's new CD "X" got a listen from me too and damn fine it was too. More a collection of singles than a coherent album as I can imagine the majority of the tracks gracing the airwaves over the next year. Good work. Surprisingly so, 'cos I ain't no bummer! Not that there's anything wrong with that. This week's CDW of the Week Award? Well, does she do it again? First up....


Brit gets worried as Winelist turns to face her accusers....


But it goes to handicapped-space-stealing bee-atch, JULIA ROBERTS - just see her at work!



Aberdeen is to be the host city for next year's Pigeon Racing World Finals.
One Council spokesperson said, "It's quite a coup."


Schnarf.

'Til the next time,
C.

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