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Sunday, January 20, 2008
AMERICAN IDOL Is Back! Oh Yeah, So Is TORCHWOOD!
They are indeed and let's look at the first episode of TORCHWOOD Series Two which has already attracted some negative remarks (well, remark) in my 'comments' section. Incidentally, I have enabled that section to include comments from those of you who aren't bloggers. Feel free to contribute. If you haven't seen this episode then avoid the next paragraph as I talk, or type, quite graphically about it.

My fish has no nose. How does it smell?

It was good to see an old-fashioned man-in-a-mask type alien (see Blowfish above) on TV and I was disappointed to see him last only a few minutes - more please! Otherwise, it was more of the same. The script was decidedly dodgy and by that I mean slightly 'non-adult'. They bill it is an 'adult' show yet the it's actually more 'teenage' than 'adult', whatever those definitions mean. Great performance from JAMES "Scene Stealer" MARSTERS and I was happy to see in the 'Coming Up' section - it also included ALAN "John Barrowman Called Him Jim On Set" DALE and lovely MARTHA "Now Working for UNIT" JONES. Although, it was fab to see the team again there were a number of issues that concerned me: (1) the aforementioned script - notably the scene where Captain John entered the bar and the 'banter' in the TORCHWOOD SUV; (2) how come everyone's getting all 'relationshipy'? There's Gwen/Jack; Jack/Ianto and now, seemingly, Owen and Tosh. Not to mention Jack and John getting it on; (3) Plot-holes - getting into a bar with guns? Very quiet city streets (thanks to Nick for pointing that one out)? And there were more. Still, all that aside, I flippin' enjoyed it. And who is this GRAY that was mentioned at the end? Anything to do with a "PRIVATE GRAY" that is a 'possible' entry in the next DOCTOR WHO ENCYCLOPEDIA? We'll just have to wait and see.

"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope." Nice.

AMERICAN IDOL returned as did the laughs. Again, more of the same - the contestants are filled with usual fame-hungry idiots; PAULA loves everyone; RANDY says "pitchy dog"; and SIMON gets adored by all. No more so than by this guy - RENALDO LAPUZ. He sang his own song, which he wrote all by himself, called "I Am Your Brother" especially for the big guy. Oddly, it was a rather memorable little melody and is already doing the re-mix rounds on the 'net. It came across either as an almost EUROVISION type song or as the closing theme tune in a Japanese television show. You can see his audition below, stick with it and sing along:



Another contestant 'sang' his song dedicated to PAULA and this little beauty contained the LOL-making lyric:
I'm not much of a talker,
so I guess I'll just stalk her.

If I were Columbo,
I'd Peter Falk her.

Nice one, SHAKESPEARE would be proud. Another show that returned to our screens was TWO PINTS (now officially shortened) and they got all 'special' with us by doing it 'live'. Whilst it did work as a live entity there were two painfully annoying things: (1) the new bar man - so Seventies Sitcom gay that I'm not sure how far we've turned with regards to irony. Needless to say he was not funny; (2) the big 'joke' - JOHNNY won a competition to go to the US to jump a shark. Geddit? A joke so painfully thin and dated that it would not have made a decent sketch let alone an entire episode of a 'comedy' show. For those of you unfamiliar with the expression (come on, really?) go HERE for an explanation of 'JUMP THE SHARK'. Trailers have started for ASHES TO ASHES, the 'sequel' (of sorts) to LIFE ON MARS, on the BEEB, you can see it on their YOUTUBE site (if you live in the UK).

Still 'avin' oops?

HARRY HILL'S TV BURP was back to its best with an hilarious 'cataracts?' montage featuring the cream of today's 'prime-time' talent. He also featured HUGH "FEARNLEY"-WHITTINGSTALL and I was surprised that he didn't dress up as him 'cos I think there's a strong resemblance. Don't normally talk about radio here but I felt I had to share this with you. After doing a rather serious and heartfelt article on ALZHEMIER'S, featuring many interviews with people who have experienced it within their families, on his show, JEREMY "My Brother Is Tim" VINE then played "Don't You Forget About Me" by SIMPLE MINDS. Now, apart from the title of the song and the name of the band, there's lyrics in there like, "Will you recognise me?" Doesn't Jezza have a brain? Anyway, who looks worst?

(1) This effed up bitch?

(2) This fame/cock-hungry CDW?

(3) If you look closely, it's a pen.

'Til the next time,
C.


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posted by Cameron McEwan at 1:15 pm -
9 Comments:
  • At 5:03 pm, Blogger Richard Starkings said…

    I think TORCHWOOD 2/1 tried too hard to fix everything that was wrong with series 1 -- in the first episode! It needs to be more X-FILES than BUFFY, centering around Jack and Gwen.

     
  • At 11:24 pm, Anonymous Whelks said…

    Still not managed to "get" Two Pints (and a packet blabblablaaa). God knows why though, considering how often it's shown/repeated on Beeb Three. Always seemed to me to be the type of sitcom you find yourself watching after having staggered in from the pub and there's nuffink on the telly.

    And as I don't stagger in from the pub very much these days.....

    Just caught one of the trailers for Ashes to Ashes though - and it looks ace!

     
  • At 11:44 pm, Blogger Cameron McEwan said…

    RICH - very true. As always, your analysis is spot on. It's good but I think it could be better. Maybe it's 'cos I've got a thing for Gwen...


    WHELKS - welcome to the comments section! I don't really 'get' TWO PINTS either even after a few. For some reason, though, I like the girls in it. Future WHO companion anyone? (I am aware one is already in the world of audio - fact fans).

    I am looking forward to ASHES TO ASHES and am very curious as to how it's gonna work.

    Wondering also am I what DAVID "Can I Have A Sausage?" BOWIE makes of all this...

    As a last point, Nick, you may be interested to know that the guy who posted the comment above you, Rich, is involved in the 'comic' strip that will feature in the very first TORCHWOOD magazine out this week!

     
  • At 11:12 am, Blogger billythekid said…

    I get two pints. I don't watch it anymore though as the countless repeats have turned me off it.

    (oh - The Jeremy Vine linky is broken (Vinea)) in my opinion Jeremy Vine can do no wrong either, I think it's great he had the gorm to play that after a topic like that. Hilarious. Just because people are mentally handicapped should make them no less a target for humour, but I'm fairly liberal with my views on comedy. I can see how some would take offence.

    I about wet myself last night watching Am-Idol with that dude. He actually likened Simon Cowell to Jesus! I'm a big Cowell fan but, Jesus! wow.

    Who looks worse? Amy, no contest.

    btk

     
  • At 11:34 am, Blogger Cameron McEwan said…

    BTK - Thanks for the heads up on the link, it has been fixed. I'm also a big fan of 'The Vine-Master' and, whilst I wasn't offended, knowing the morons that often call that show I was surprised he not only did it but got away with it.

    In that clip of IDOL, Paula's reaction was priceless as she did indeed realise she just asked a question that she didn't want answered. I felt Simon was quite 'nice' this week especially with two contestants who were quite poor and normally wouldn't have made it through (cannot remember their names or even faces). But good 'ole Cowell recognised their viewing potential in future weeks. Wise man. I bet he hates slumming here in the UK doing sh*t like BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT.

    As for Renaldo Lapuz and his views, I s'pose SC is a bit like JC except Simon isn't a fictional character...

    Annoyingly/amusingly, I haven't been able to get "I Am Your Brother" out of my head.

     
  • At 10:59 pm, Anonymous Whelks said…

    I'd forgotten about the Two Pints/Audio Who connection. I've actually bought one of the audios featuring the new companion for Paul McGann's Doctor, but never have enough time to listen to the flipping thing.

    I normally allow myself the treat of listening to audio Who in the car - but my wee Smartie is off the road at the mo'. Sob, sniffle. Still, if I will drive a silly little clown car......

    Suffice it to say that I will be purchasing the new Torchwood mag - and I look forward to enjoying the comic strip!

    I agree that episode one rather gave the appearance of "front-loading" the sweeping changes following widespread comments on the first series. Hopefully the intriguing tidbits contained in the rest-of-series trailer are an accurate foreshadow of the goodies to come...

    Heeheehee - every time I see Alan Dale in dramas these days, I keep thinking of everyone's favourite Neighbours grandmumsy character, Helen Daniels.

    Errr....in a good way, he added hastily....

     
  • At 9:45 am, Blogger Cameron McEwan said…

    WHELKS - I've only heard the first audio that she did with MCGANN. They were pretty good together.

    Nice use of the phrase "front-loading". I'm gonna try and shoehorn that into all my conversations.

    Oddly enough, while filming, JOHN BARROWMAN kept calling ALAN DALE "Jim". I wonder what would have hapened if he'd called him "Helen"...

     
  • At 1:30 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't usually "plug" stuff, but as he played the joker I thought you'd be interested.

    http://www.nytimes.com /2008/01/22/movies/ 23cnd-ledger.html?ref=nyregion

     
  • At 9:38 am, Blogger Cameron McEwan said…

    Yes, I did see that news last night.

    Shocking and very sad indeed.

     
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