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Sunday, February 03, 2008
Nessie In Tokyo?
As if not to be outdone by all the attention being lavished upon that little bastid CLOVERFIELD, the Scottish version, THE LOCH NESS MONSTER, has been sighted in TOKYO. Check it out!



Of course it's not actually Nessie, or the SAKARASEN as some of us still call it, it is, in fact, a WATER SCREEN PROJECTION of the beast serving as a promotional tool for the film, THE WATER HORSE. I wasn't too sure that it was real but it is (I'm still checking it's not April 1st). A truly astounding bit of tech there. I mentioned CLOVERFIELD a few sentences back, the 'review' is coming up after the next picture. If you want to remain "SPOILER" free then avoid the text between the next two pix, ie. the next paragraph.

Down Cloverfield, down!

The opening ten minutes or so are possibly the worst I have seen at the flicks in a long time. I almost left. Yah, you read that right. Had I known nothing about the film I would have but, of course, I was waiting to see a hug monster ripping apart Manhattan. Sorry, that should have read 'huge' monster. Yes, a monster NOT a lion as many places reported, idiots. These opening moments, set at a party, did pose a few questions. I asked myself, "How can this be a real party? They're playing KINGS OF LEON one minute and then SEAN KINGSTON the next!" Totally unbelievable. I also queried, "Is that the guy who was in the TV version of 'WEIRD SCIENCE'?" My final question, in that loooong scene, was, "This party is too beautiful. There is not one ugmo there". Actually, that last one was more of a statement than a question. When the 'arrival' moment finally came I think I actually audibly muttered, "Thank f**k" even though I was on my own (don't pity me). The rest of it is pretty good with the 'realism' (such as monster attacking a city can be) ramped up with some spectacular shots of destruction as well as the beast itself and its creatures. The suspense was also used to an acceptable effect but the makers seem to be wary of using that dramatical tenet. The cast? Okay, although the guy holding the camera got on my effin tits constantly shouting "Rob, Rob!". Grr. The ending was real good then it got real bad with a pointless "I love you" right at the, pardon the pun, death. I did like that the monster was pretty much invincible and didn't have a reason for its rampage (sorry for that pun too, geek fans). A good addition were the little Cloverfields that added a further menace on the ground level. All in all, it could have been so much better and perhaps the sequel, already in discussion, will address these issues although it will be hard for them to top the initial carnage. My final point? How can the filmmakers make the destruction of New York City by a crazy monster look utterly believable yet they cannot do a party with any sense of veracity?

"On closer inspection, these are loafers"

OK, you can look now. Just before that screening at the cinema I got to see the SERIES 4 trailer for DOCTOR WHO and, by flippity, it got me all trousery. To say the least. I've already posted a link to 'copy' of it, here's another LINK. That one is better but if you get a chance, see it at the flicks. Nothing beats seeing the TARDIS 'Console Room' and DAVEY T on the big screen. TATE looks like she's gonna be effin' great - there's a v. funny moment when she's sees The Doc and mouths "Dock~tah! It's me!" - and the shots from PLANET OF THE OOD were particularly impressive. It blew the actual film trailers into a used jerry~bag, they included STAR TREK (it ain't out 'til bloody Boxing Day!) and the cringe~inducing IRON MAN. Well done BEEB, I cannot wait. Only a matter of weeks!

OOD - "Do You Like My Ball?"

Finally, news is coming in that is so awesome that I am, yet again, checking the calendar. It would appear that a movie version of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT is in, erm, development. Click HERE for the 411. I can't imagine how they'll do it but I bet it'll be bloody superb. I think they should do a crossover with THE OFFICE. Have one of THE BLUTHS working in there, with high~larious consequences!

Cue "Is That A Gun In Your Pocket?" Gag or something about women drivers...


'Til the next time,
C.


PS. It turns out it wasn't the guy from WEIRD SCIENCE but the guy who played KIRBY in a few episodes of FRASIER. Oddly enough I made the same mistake when I saw him in that too. If you didn't read the section on CLOVERFIELD then this bit will have made no sense. Oh well.


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posted by Cameron McEwan at 3:40 pm -
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