Not to mention my little heart!
 One of these kids is doing their own thing...
I am, of course, referring to the latest DOCTOR WHO episode entitled THE STOLEN EARTH. If you haven't seen the latest groin~grabbingly good installment of the world's greatest television 'show', then I strongly suggest you do NOT continue reading this review (don't even skip to the last paragraph or look at the pictures). This text will contain plot points and will refer explicitly (in a real and meaningful way) to the arse~bendingly WTF? cliffhanger that was followed, in a very odd fashion I might add, by this unnecessary caption:
 Like, d'uh.
See what I mean? It did rather take away from the drama of the moment but more of that later. I'll start of with the many joyous geekoid moments that were not only peppered onto this tale but were also integral to the plot. First up, the introduction (after a number of mentions stretching right back to 2005's opening episode) of THE SHADOW PROCLAMATION. Lurvely to see the JUDOON again (one of my fave new series 'monsters') now accompanied by some white~haired chicks with scary eyes. Slighty disappointed to see that they did their business in, what looked like, a swimming pool. Great CG from the outside though.  That's the men's changing rooms on the left.Whilst visiting the space police, we got some story strands (not unexpected I might add) answered. The disappearing planets turned out to be of paramount importance in this episode and look who (or where) got mentioned: CALUFRAX MINOR - some of us older nerdoids will remember, of course, Calufrax as a world from THE PIRATE PLANET back in '78 and, by 'coincidence', that planet also 'disappeared' in the KEY TO TIME story; WOMAN WEPT was another snatched world that recent fans might remember from BOOM TOWN back in '05; and let's not forget CLOM, the home planet of the ABZORBALOFF from 2006's LOVE & MONSTERS.  Goldfrapp's Glastonbury gig turned out alright in the end.We were also reminded of this year's stolen worlds like PYROVILLIA, ADIPOSE 3 and the Lost Moon of POOSH. Whilst discussing their disappearance The Doctor comments, "someone tried to move the earth once before" and he could either be referring to a previous DALEK 'plan' (and I use the term lightly) or the fiendish actions conducted by some Time Lords - discovered by our hero in the atrocious 1986 adventure (and I use the term quite wrongly), THE MYSTERIOUS PLANET.  Planets!The bees also provided to be part of the story - even if the explanation was treated to the now typical DAVEY T racethru'. And with his departure from THE SHADOW PROCLAMATION, it looks like THE DOCTOR has these guys on his back now after riling up the crazy old bee~atch who ended up shouting at him through time and space. I'm sure we'll see them again soon.
 What is he doing down there?
And from one geek~point to another with the introduction, physically, of THE MEDUSA CASCADE. It's been mentioned a couple of times this series but was first referenced by THE MASTER (remember him?) way back in, erm, last year's finale. Man, that seems so long ago. And it turns out that's where all the flippin' planets are! Continuing with the nerdgasms, we also got TORCHWOOD involved along with that woman from THE SARAH JANE ADVENTURES. What's her name? Oh yeah, Sarah Jane. Hooray!
 Someone pass the hankies (no, not like that!)
Always a thrill to see SJ and LIZZY S does her proud here with a tear~inducing performance. A few hoots as she seems as fed up with MR SMITH'S fanfare as the bloody audience were in her aforementioned adventures. For those who haven't seen the series (and I thoroughly recommend that you do), we were treated to his rather OTT introduction almost every effin' week. LUKE was played to perfection and it was well observed that he was so matter~of~fact about the invasion and expressed genuine joy about seeing spaceships. Nice touch (again, for those who haven't seen the show, he's not a 'normal', human boy - he was created).  Better make them man~size. and IANTO came off very well and I especially liked the latter's humour (which came out more and more in the second series of the spin~off) - guffawing at the 'antics' of PAUL O' GRADY. I was surprised at the amount of screen~time these guys got but all the more happier for it along with their 'boss' CAPTAIN JACK. Always fun to see him in DOCTOR WHO. Also back was MARTHA and she was off in NEW YORK with the rather youthful looking (considering he must be at least 92 years old) MICHAEL "Was He Dempsey Or Makepeace? I Can't Remember" BRANDON. A pity he got exterminated so early on, liked that guy. The Daleks certainly made short work of UNIT and the VALIANT (not to mention that planet Earth - yeah, thanks Al Gore!)
 Spaceships! New York!! Destruction!!!
More returns? Oh yes. HARRIET JONES was back and, rather annoyingly, we were treated to her gag three times. Once would have enough and, indeed, welcome. Staying with her, did anyone else find it odd that she managed to create this 'sub wave' on her own? In her cottage? How did she know the Daleks wouldn't be able to detect it? Where did she get the ability to do all this? Funded, if you noticed reader, by the COPPER FOUNDATION. The same Copper from VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED I hear you ask? Yes, indeed. The fanw*nk (and not in a bad way I hasten to add) continues.
 'Ole blue eye is back.
We also saw The Doc's hand bubbling away. What could that possibly mean? And finally, on the geek~fest, we got DAVROS. A very faithful rendition at that too. JULIAN "You Might Remember Some Cryptic Remarks About Him From My Blog Post HERE" BLEACH was terrific and demonstrated how to make a monster human. Well, almost. Brilliantly realised and very effective, his return was spot on but who was in charge of the Daleks? Him or the Supreme Dalek? Hard to tell and it was a very interesting move to have Dalek Caan the saviour of their creator , though he seemed to go a bit Ophelia due to all the stress 'n that. His laugh was particularly eerie. Composer MURRAY GOLD matched the un~nerving atmosphere of the Daleks with a suitably macabre score.
 Kate Moss finally gets a job on TV.
Elsewhere, GRAEME "The Guv'nor" HARPER showed us all why I call him The Guv'nor - another top drawer piece of direction from him. One of my favourite, and more simpler moments from him came when Wilf and Rose were talking about Donna traveling in space whilst Sylvia stood there with a kettle in her hand. A nice juxtaposition. But the "Exterminate" scene where the world first hears the Dalek war cry was trouser~tighteningly good. Sublime. The CG work (not to mention the designs themselves) was, for the most part, perfectly done. Great shots of the Earth's new sky and spaceships - I lurve spaceships!
 Spaceship!
The script was full of RTD's neat stylings, "outerspace Facebook" for example, but I was a bit miffed at mobile phones being used so heavily (and so importantly) in the plot. Though maybe I'm showing my age there. When they all phone for The Doc it was rather reminiscent of last year's finale (though this was more believable - I digress) but that it is a minor point in a story that that packed that all too familiar DOCTOR WHO punch (as I am now calling it). The ending really did leave, I'm sure, the millions watching it aghast.  Davey T - Wonky eye alert!We were presented with an emotional (hanky time) reunion for ROSE (and her plastic~looking gun) and The Doc. Just before that encounter, I enjoyed her annoyance at not being included when the team were all talking through the computer. Nice touch. But the sentiment was short~lived in a brief and brutal moment of Dalek~thuggery. And the denouement left many questions still unanswered. How is Rose fleeting through parallel universes? And was that the parallel Torchwood she was in contact with?
 Oh, she's saying find me...
There's more. Will the opening credits get longer as the cast gets bigger, again? Will we find out what the 'eff the Auster~Haggen, or Osterhagen, Key is? More importantly, is this a regeneration? Are we getting an Eleventh Doctor? And finally, and I think this will be a biggie, what role will Donna play in all this? We got another hint that she is "something else/new" from the Albino Servant. There was a very odd moment of her seated (pictured below) with her heartbeat pounding loudly. What can this mean? All this and more, Saturday at 6.40pm. Next time, I'm not wearing trousers.
 I get the feeling that next week is gonna be tough.
'Til the next time,
C.
PS. Please do NOT answer any of the above questions - they are rhetorical. Just in case you are too dumb to notice or too much of a geek to want and try to spoil it for everyone!
Labels: Billie Piper, Catherine Tate, David Tennant, Davros, Doctor Who, Dr Who, Elisabeth Sladen, Series 4 Episode 12, Series 4 Finale, Stolen Earth review, The Stolen Earth |
posted by Cameron McEwan at 
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That was no swimming pool -- that was the TOTALLY DOCTOR WHO set!
Rich!