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Friday, July 11, 2008
Do You Know A WILL SMITH Fan?
'Cos I don't.

She got this from a pub. No, really.

Considering how big a star (not to mention box~office pull) he is, I don't actually know anyone who would say, "Yeah, Cam, I'm a Will Smith fan. Can't get enough of his work." And that is odd. I'm not denying he certainly has a talent for picking films - now eight No.1s in a row - but who is his fan base? I'm not judging by the way, I'm just interested. Are you a fan of Big Willy? If so, feel free to get in touch and tell me why. You may be wondering where all this is going. I took a trip to the flicks and saw his latest, HANCOCK.

She's obviously a fan...

Thankfully, the filmmakers had the sense to put the word 'cock' in the title so time taken in mocking the film is reduced by seconds. My gratitude also goes to the cast and crew for making this mess come in at a palpable 90 minutes. At least my day wasn't ruined. Granted, this film is not directed at the likes of me but I do go to see almost every film I can (thank you Unlimited Card) so I feel I can comment. And I will. The positives? JASON BATEMAN. I lurve that guy. Ever since IT'S YOUR MOVE, or maybe even SILVER SPOONS, I've followed his career. I think I wanted to be him when I was younger - wisecracking and handsome. Took me a while, but I got there.

It's the Bate~ster!

He's great so when he's on screen all is well. The aforementioned Fresh Prince isn't dreadful, just mic~cast as he has been in a number of his recent outings (not that their success would tell you that). The problem here is the concept 'they' start the film with is not the one 'they' end with. In fact, they don't even get halfway through the film before they ditch the premise of super~hero on a path of self~destruction. Now, some people will have you believe that this idea is good and original. It's not. But, to its credit, it is played out with some little charm (thanks to Bateman) and a couple of giggles. Not as many laughs as BONEKICKERS though.

Not sure about that tie/shirt combo J~Man...

In essence it goes from one bad, or worn, idea to another. If you haven't seen it then there now follows SPOILERS. And, surprisingly, it played out slightly differently to how I thought it was going to. It was quite obvious that CHARLIZE "Re~Uniting With Bateman ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT Stylee" THERON's character and Hancock have a connection but it was unexpected when she revealed herself to have superpowers too. It then gets really bad with some awful CG work and pointless battles. The ending was also unusual. The eternal love shared by these Gods (and that's what they call themselves - come on Christians, get annoyed!) is abandoned and Theron remains with the Bate~ster. That, at least, made me happy. He deserves a hot piece of tail.

They're doing Boom! Boom! Shake, Shake The Room!

Yes, I just typed that last sentence - my brain has been damaged by this latest 'block'buster. More like ball~buster. And don't get me started in the racial issues in there too. One thing I will say that is that story itself was way too big for just one film and it could have stretched quite easily to two or even three fims. Might have been better but then again it might not have. I will say this though, I am a Jason Bateman fan.

Almost there...

Sticking with films, kind of. I caught BATMAN: GOTHAM KNIGHT, a collection of animated shorts working as a prelude to the next film I might give a good review to, THE DARK KNIGHT. Sadly, it wasn't much cop and a bit of a struggle to get through. It got interesting with the introduction of KILLER CROC but my brain wasn't engaged for long. A missed opportunity for sure.

From the new HARRY POTTER. 3D might make it watchable...

In TVLand (or room considering the breadth of its appeal to me these days) there's been some new developments. I say 'new' but, irritatingly, they're not new at all. BBC2 have re~launched their THURSDAYS ARE FUNNY night with the return of MOCK THE WEEK and the introduction of the 'sit~om' (which is more situation than comedy), LAB RATS. The panel show did provide a number of hearty larfs, mainly due to FRANKIE BOYLE and his outrageous remarks: "I saw that execution of Saddam on YouTube and it really made me think. Made me think, is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?" He also used the phrase "you've blown your cock off" - I hope THE IT CROWD gang saw that....


MTW is a bit of an infuriating watch for me as it's all peaks and troughs. One minute you get a sublime line from HUGH DENNIS which is then bookmarked by a groan~some (and not in a good way) remark from the tedious ANDY PARSONS. Even worse, last night featured the loathesome MICHAEL MCINTYRE who, on two occasions, displayed he hadn't a clue what was going on and actually repeated gags (and continued to riff on them) that his fellow contestants had done five minutes previous. No, really.

Funny? Yes.

Last night also featured LUCY PORTER who sat there and giggled like a silly wee lassie. Annoying, 'cos she's actually a pretty good stand~up. I did a few gigs with her back in the early Noughties. I also did dome gigs with MTW stalwart, and genuinely funny (not to mention, bloody nice guy), RUSSELL HOWARD. And, by startling coincidence, the show that followed it starred another comedian I'd performed with, CHRIS ADDISON. He was in the 'new' 'comedy' LAB RATS. I say comedy, I didn't laugh once - and that's about 23 larfs less than BONEKICKERS (granted it was on for an hour).

Funny? No.

If you've seen EXTRAS then you'll be aware of WHEN THE WHISTLES BLOWS - the sitcom within a sitcom. Well, Lab Rats is exactly that. A cheap, tacky, gag~free show. It looks like it came from the Seventies (and not in a good way) complete with bad laugh~track, awful lighting and set design (and a title sequence that looked like the Gervais pardoy). Not to mention the incompetent performers. Or the woeful script. Get this: Chris Addison's character was wearing a pink lab coat so he thought it may him look gay. Is this the Eighties? No, and despite the fact there was a Chernobyl gag in there (no, really), they'd moved on from that in the Eighties, hadn't they?

That's the offending pink coat. Note the Owl - the good bit of the show.

Now, just to clarify, they made it pretty clear that looking 'gay' was not a good thing. To confound matters, people did think he looked gay but it was because of his hair! Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't gay men have impeccable hair and dress sense? (Or is that another stereotype? I'm basing it on my gay chums.) In no way did he look like a gay man. Maybe that's the gag - these guys and gals are stuck so far into academia that they don't know what a homosexual looks like. If that weren't bad enough, they had 'foreign' characters (English actors, of course) doing 'funny' foreign accents - getting English words and grammar slightly wrong. Effin' high~larious.

Back to black, but still a durty S~bag.

Positives? I liked the girl who wore an Owl t~shirt. She played the 'thick' one. Yup, the writers are so lazy that they think a sitcom still has to have a thick, yet adorable, character. Nice one! Hey BBC, I've got an idea for a sitcom. It's called DAVROS & CAAN and features the Dalek creator along with the abomination Caan (who now has a singing career) sharing a flat and each week Caan gets Davros to do his bidding (because the prophecy foretold it) - it's usually stuff like shopping, getting girls to go out with him and money~making schemes, that sort of thing. The end of each episode features Davros shouting maniacally "Caan!" as he realises he's been duped again. The theme tune is I Feel For You by CHAKA KHAN (written by Prince fact fans!) except there's an high~larious lyric change. It's now I Live With You and replacing the words "Chaka Khan" in the rap is the name "Dalek Caan".

From Miyazaki's latest: PONYO ON THE CLIFF BY THE SEA.

Yeah, that took me two minutes to come up with and it's provided more larfs (for me anyway) than the whole of the sorry affair that was Lab Rats. Not sure if the next programme was as bad but it certainly wasn't much better. Yup, I watched THE CHARLOTTE CHURCH SHOW. Why? CATHY T was on it. I've never seen this before and I will not be watching again. If I were to use just one word to cover it, it would be 'lame'. The gags and sketches seemed like they had been written by one of those kids you sometimes see in the supermarket; running about looking for their parents while opening sweets, fondling the bread and causing corporal mayhem. I guess I'm not the target market for the show.

He's funny too! But he's not on TV on a Thursday, sadly.

'Til the next time,

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posted by Cameron McEwan at 8:48 am -
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