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Saturday, July 19, 2008
Just Because It's Summer Doesn't Mean TV Has To Be Sh*t!
But sadly it is.

Katie fields another, "Have you seen THE DARK KNIGHT yet?" question...

So much so that I actually watched the second episode of both BONKEKICKERS and LAB RATS, two shows that I gave a licking over last week in a most demeaning (for them) fashion. TW*TBASHERS was worse than the first week but it wasn't nearly as funny. It dealt so crudely with racial and political issues that I thought, for one horrible moment, that I was watching ITV1. Again we got ridiculous deaths and farcical fight scenes coupled with HUGE BOURNEVILLE gnawing his way through each scene lusting after girls in (or out of) their bras. I gave it a chance (coughs) but it stinks. In a big way. BURN GORMAN is making an appearance soon so I'll probably tune in to see him.

Tell me that's for a part...

The other deplorable programme from last week raising its sick~makingly unfunny head was LAB RATS. Again, worse than last week and not nearly as funny. And, remember guys and gals, I didn't laugh at all during the opening episode. I saw the show's "star" and "writer" (and I use that term lightly considering that the garbage I saw on screen could barely be described as thought upon, let alone written), CHRIS ADDISON being interviewed about the 'comedy' (surely an Ofcom investigation is warranted?) and he claimed he wrote it as a silly sitcom watchable by all. Yes it is "watchable", but who would want to?

Transfixed by the BEARD OF FORD!

Chris (and I feel comfortable calling him this) claims his desire was that kids could watch it but I would recommend that the children of Britain stay on the streets and eat gravel and used jerry~bags before venturing indoors to view this turgid BBC2 effort. Thankfully, MOCK THE WEEK provided a few laughs previous to it. Not that many though and, oddly, I caught a repeat of NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS (which I had seen some time ago) on DAVE that provided many more guffaws than the first outing for MTW.

Nice shirt!

Film~wise, I saw KUNG FU PANDA. Now, I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of popcorn fodder and full marks to some of the people involved but I do have a number of issues with this DREAMWORKS production. Why did they bother casting Big Lips McGraw in this flick? Not only was her vocal effort extremely poor but you couldn't even tell it was her anyway! What's the point? Don't bother, I know the point. Makes a nice poster/red carpet.

Nice, erm, ears?

Likewise, LUCY LIU? Come on! It's a pity 'cos she did a real good job on FUTURAMA but, then again, she was playing herself. I won't go into the rest mainly because their parts were so small (vocally speaking - ha ha, what a weird thing to type) that, like Miss Jolie, it did not matter who was doing it. Just get someone good, regardless of fame~osity (have I invented a new word?). It works for PIXAR! My last word on the negatives falls to DUSTIN "Hoff"MAN who was woefully cast here. You could tell it was him but who in the world is thinking, "I want to see an animated film featuring the vocal talents of Dustin Hoffman"? Answer? No~one is thinking that.

Is anyone still interested in you?

He was not a good choice for such a large part. Sadly, DREAMWORKS seem to revel in the celeb element of their flicks and who am I to tell them otherwise? They're very successful at producing these movies and, to their credit, KUNG FU PANDA works despite my misgivings about the voice talents. JACK "Career Back On Track?" BLACK was perfectly cast and pulls of the role with some distinction - a wise choice. Likewise, it was great to hear JAMES "I Designed Your Eyes" HONG's voice playing the Panda's dad, a goose.

Not a good look from MAGGY G.

That was one of the nice touches about the film, even though the Panda's upbringing by Geese must have been problematic, it is barely touched upon and the dysfunctional route is thankfully avoided. The film's story is disarmingly simple and the message comes straight out of the GREAT BIG BOOK OF DISNEY - follow your dreams, believe in yourself, don't judge a book by its cover, help your friends out, etc... Not that there's anything wrong with that but I seem to remember that SHREK lampooned the very genre that DREAMWORKS has now comfortably become. Where will the kids get their radical kicks from now on?

Bale shoot his load into robot [WALL-E Deleted Scene]

The film is pretty a much a larf~fest with plenty throughout and I must commend the makers of KUNG FU PANDA in creating fight sequences that were not deadly dull, as so many are now. Each one is imaginatively realised whilst providing a bucket~full of amusement for the older viewers. Full congratulations on the 2D opening; quite beautiful and most unexpected. Technically though, the film's not all there. Sure, some of the characters are perfectly done; the Panda, the Goose and Dustin Hoffman (good idea for a sitcom right there) but the others don't fare so well, especially the five other Kung Fu guys and gals voiced in such a pedestrian manner by the 'stars'.

You lost a bet, right? Being seen out with him...

And what the 'eff was IAN "Mc"SHANE doing in there? All in all, a most enjoyable experience and probably DREAMWORKS best since SHREK 2. I note, with some disdain, that their next effort is MADAGASCAR 2. Groan. Speaking of sequels, SEX AND THE CITY is getting one - go HERE for the 411. Let me guess: Big will change his mind about something; Miranda will be a work~obsessed bitch; Charlotte won't get a storyline; Samantha likes sex; and Carrie will still act like she's thirteen. Stick in the latest (and hotest) minority in there and you've got yourself a hit.

RICK ASTLEY is back!

Not quite a sequel, more of a remake, but CLASH OF THE TITANS is back! Go HERE for the full story but one has to ask, why? Are we completely out of ideas now? (Some say we were back in the last century - remember then?) So much so that we have to plunder mediocre Eighties fare? How long before KRULL gets re~done? Or a re~imagining of BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS? Another 3D version of SPACEHUNTER anyone? Oops, I realise I have just demonstrated the extent of my geek~dom so I will move on to some HOT news of a televisual nature.

SHINY! Hold on, is that ANDI PETERS in the background?

Regular readers, and perhaps irregular (I don't care what size you are), will know my affinity for the US version of THE OFFICE. Though to say it is the 'US' version is doing it a massive disservice as it has now become a very credible entity of its own. Anyway, some time ago it was reported that a spin~off was in the, erm, offing. Looks like it will star AMY POEHLER according to VARIETY. Great choice though I'm not too sure about a spin~off. Time, as those so devoid of imagination constantly state, will tell.

JAIME WINSTONE in a couple of years...

Music~time! If the picture of DOLLY PARTON (that's her upstairs) got you excited then you'll be even more aroused to learn that I am about to 'review' her latest album, BACKWOODS BARBIE. Incredibly, it's got a cover of She Drives Me Crazy - though the Partster drops the 'she' - originally by FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS. It's not awful, unlike her version of SMOKEY ROBINSON's Tracks Of My Tears that turns up here too, but it is strange. I like her voice but there's one too many country songs included (surprise!) but there is the odd pleaser. Speaking of country, GLEN CAMPBELL is back!

DOCTOR WHO takes an odd turn in the 2009 specials...

Who? You may be asking if you're under thirty. Well, that doesn't matter but he's just delivered an album of covers, rather amusingly called MEET GLEN CAMPBELL, that include GREEN DAY, U2 and TRAVIS. Worth a listen and like many country artists his voice is very honest and quite endearing. Don't pay any money for it though, barely made it to a second listen right through. Similar words can be said for the debut from BLACK KIDS, the provocatively titled Partie Traumatic. It's like a cross between THE CURE and ORANGE JUICE with a dash of AZTEC CAMERA. Hell, it's not 'like' a cross. It is a cross. Very derivative.

... and this is the regeneration scene...

Lastly, CSS are back with their "difficult" second album DONKEY. I lurved the debut but this falls way short. It's quite obvious they wrote this on the road, full of more rockier tracks suited to the festivals they've been whoring themselves out at for the past two years. It's got the odd good track on it and there's even one, incorrectly called Beautiful Song, which invokes We Didn't Start the Fire by BILLY JOEL. Not a good reference point. A disappointing follow~up for sure.

Casting for the MORRISSEY film begins...

'Til the next time,


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posted by Cameron McEwan at 2:29 pm -
  • At 9:37 pm, Blogger Richard Starkings said…

    Seeing as you still have comments disabled on BLOGTOR, I just want to applaud Steven Moffat on his priorities. My guess is he knows the difference between a high profile Hollywood job and job satisfaction.


    (Cam -- some of my emails to you have been bouncing back, others take a day or two. Not sure why!)

  • At 9:58 pm, Blogger Cameron McEwan said…

    Yeah, it is quite remarkable that in the modern world some people can still follow their dreams.

    I will not only applaud him but I will also stand in very real and meaningful way.

    I emailed you about your emails. I seem to be getting them days after you send them.

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