|Happy B'Day you sultry, yet reclusive, minx!
|Kate Bush, yesterday.
Moving on from b'day
celebrations to the more pressing matter of television and its rapidly depleting stock. I am, of course
, referring to BONEKICKERS
. Why am I still watching this?
I could be watching THE F WORD (I did on +1 but more of that later)
for flips sake. Well, it starred SILAS CARSON
who is well known to us geek~a~zoids
for his multi roles in STAR WARS
as well as DOCTOR WHO
. It also featured NINA SOSANYA
who appeared in the 2006 episode of the world's greatest 'sci~fi' (I use the term lightly)
show, FEAR HER
A 'tasteful' photo shoot from Hayden Panettiere. Durty S~Bag!
Not only that we got the original CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS
, played by MATT "Not Torn" RIPPY
, in it too. Apart from that, the episode had its usual gaffs and ridiculous set pieces featuring firearms. If you saw this fourth episode of the one and only series then you'll know I am referring to the 'snake' in the hotel sequence. Laughable
in the extreme, and not just the terrible CG
reptile. Stand up the writers who thought of a grown man and woman jumping on a bed to escape the 'beast', use a pillow as defence and then deliver the line: "Get back inside! There's a killer snake on the loose!"
whilst hairing it down a corridor.
There's not enough room here to type what I'm thinking...
The acting, as always
, was achingly poor and HUGE "Effin'" BOURNEVILLE
has already given up. Thankfully,
I did hoot with derisive laughter a number of times so it was worth it just for that. BURN "Baby Burn" GORMAN
stars next week, can't wait. After that THE F WORD
came to an end and it's been a poor series, it's already tired and the 'celebs' they're getting in wouldn't seem out of place on a CHANNEL 5
reality show where the contestants eat dust for three weeks. The only moment of interest came when GORDON "He's Still A Chef, Right?" RAMSAY (the show's presenter for those who don't know)
visited his ole stomping ground, IBROX
. He used to play for RANGERS FC (that's a soccer reference for all my international - and by that I mean American - readers)
and his 'banter' with ALLY "Mc"COIST
proved entertaining for about thirty seconds.
Kelsey auditions for The Joker.COMEDY CONNECTIONS
concentrated on YES MININSTER/PRIME MINISTER
this week and bloody
good it was too though it was a shame there was no footage of HAWTHORNE
talking about the show. The highlight came as the gang performed a 'sketch' written by MAGGY THATCH
- truly winsome stuff. JOHN BARROWMAN
made a long awaited return to our televisions with a programme called THE MAKING OF ME
where he looked at the roots of his, and I use this word with much hilarity, 'gayness'.
Insert Depp 'shooting two loads' gag here.
Despite my misgivings about another
TV show featuring the one man show that is Johnny B
, he certainly impressed as a sole reporter (probably 'cos he was talking about himself!)
To be honest, I do not really care
if people are naturally gay or its something they become - people are what they are; sometimes they change, sometimes they stay the same. To me, sexuality and preference is not
important (or even an issue)
but to many people it is and that's fine. It's a crazy ole
world we're livin' in - let's just try and get along.
Where does the chin end and the neck begin?JB's
argument that sexuality was inherent was certainly strong and our friend (and sometimes enemy)
science was used to dazzling (and amusing)
effect. The highlight, for sure
, was definitely the moments in the documentary when he dipped into his Scottish accent. Brilliant
. And what about his BARBIE
But what does that say about me? I'm more interested in people's accents (inherent or received?)
and their toy collections than their sexuality. Guess I'm just getting old. But full marks to the TORCHWOOD
frontman for creating an entertaining and enlightening hour.
returned to form with a prickly installment of highs and lows. And rule breakers!
On both sides of the, erm
, cash? Rule One
in the Den should surely
to invent a product that questions parenting - DUNCAN BANNATYNE
appreciate that. Rule Two
could explain to contestants that if they cannot string a coherent sentence, let alone a pitch, together (even when asked direct questions)
then get someone else to do it for you. Last week we were present with the ungodly
sight of a band perform in the Den and this week we got a fashion show.
Lookin' good Spears, lookin' good...
woman who presented the pitch on her clothing line did a great job and impressed no end with her international sales. But only £700
a month on PR
? She didn't get her sums right there - you couldn't buy a full page ad in a local newspaper for that! So full marks and a gold star to PETER JONES
, the rule breaker, who stepped in and offered her more money than she asked for. You could see the rest of the Dragon's
sitting there thinking I Wish I'd Thought Of That
. A heart warming end to a show that's becoming increasingly cynical (possible?)
. You can read about her and her erotic adventures HERE
Top Shop reject.
'Til the next time,
Labels: Bonekickers, Bonekickers review, Britney Spears, Dragon's Den, John Barrowman, Johnny Depp, Kate Bush, Kate Bush Turns 50, Kelsey Grammar, Madonna, The Making Of Me, Victoria McGrane