|You can't, it's unsolvable.
|Thank You For The Music? I don't effin' think so!
Before I 'review' MAMMA MIA
, let me tell you a bit about where I stand on films and music. I like rom~coms/frothy comedies. I
enjoy the music of ABBA
. So this film adaptation of the stage show should have been right down my alley (as it were)
but, as you may have been able to tell from my opening gambit, I cannot condone this experience. Unless
you're a forty year old and upwards
woman who doesn't get to the flicks much 'cos
that's who was lapping it all up with menopausal
glee at the screening I attended.
Oh Christmas! Are they about to kiss?
These cretins found the antics of JULIE WALTERS & CO
in the extreme. Even the sight of her swigging from a bottle of booze, dancing, dressing up in 'retro' outfits and even just walking had the audience in stitches. Similarly, I felt like leaving the audience in stitches. Now, I don't want to review the crowd that I was in with but it did feel like one of those parties you were dragged along to as a kid where all the adults were slightly pissed [UK Definition]
and forced you to get up and dance and enjoy yourself. Enforced fun~time. *Shudders*
These are the same people who will say, "Hey Cam, it's just a bit of campy fun. Don't take it seriously" and you cannot really argue with their opinion. What I can take issue with is the cheapness, laziness and backward thinking that MAMMA MIA portrays. It's so cheap. But not in a knowing way 'cos they've tried to make it look like it was filmed in Greece (or wherever the hell it was) but the appalling filming belies the studio bound feel of much of the movie (though there are some outdoor sequences). The direction itself is poor and it's quite obvious this is a first~time effort. I won't mention the individual involved but this person should not be allowed near a camera again.
Take two nipples into the shower? 'Til the next time,
The songs were so mundanely presented that at times you either think you're watching an advert for a domestic cleaner (with females getting all 'girl power')
or a Dolmio
ad. I will say that the leads did their parts well and the STREEPSTER
gets top marks for all her gusto. While I'm talking about Meryl & Co.
, what age were they meant
to be? The girl (who she gave birth to in her younger and 'wilder' years')
is twenty so that would mean the Streepoid
had in her forties (or late thirties at least)
. That really
annoyed me 'cos the women are all in the 50s and 60s. They do not look close to the thirties (or early forties)
that they should be. An effin'
Is there such a thing as 'Clothes Rage'?
The youngsters were dreadfully bland and the opening felt like HIGH SHOOL MUSICAL (even though I have never seen it)
; all shouty and over~emphasising every move. As a last note, the sexual politics of this garbage were taken straight out of the Carry On
series (maybe why all the oldies like this so much)
with women chasing men, bare bums being shown and risque
words like 'ejaculation' being used. What irks me most is that in the past decade we've had some truly epic, well directed and forward~thinking musicals; MOULIN ROUGE!
; SOUTH PARK
; and SWEENEY TODD
to name a few. And even ENCHANTED
seemed more modern than this bunkum. MAMMA MIA
sets the genre back about twenty years. There, I'm done.
Ten blog points if you know who this is (not ABBA related BTW)
Labels: Britney Spears, Cerys Mathews, Did I seem like a curmudgeonly old man?, It's Boris Johnson, Julie Walters, Lily Allen Tit, Mamma Mia, Mamma Mia Review, Meryl Streep, Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson