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Thursday, October 02, 2008
"I'm No Meteorologist, But I'm Pretty Sure It's Raining Bitches!"
That's right, bitches!

Can he say that?

Quote of the Week comes from CLEVELAND in the season opener of FAMILY GUY (the 'other' good bit in this rather poor story was Stewie and Brian's discussion about which characters could understand the youngest of the Griffin clan). But there was strong opposition. Yup, THE SIMPSONS had a few quotes too from their debut that were Post~Title worthy. And they were a bit edgy. Well, if you're Irish. "Where are the IRA when you need them?" from BART tickled me muchly along with MAYOR QUIMBY shoehorning THE EDGE into his middle name. Not only that but BOBA FETT appeared in the Couch Gag! Nice.

I simply say, JUGS!!

Elsewhere in the land of animation, a new show graced the 'airwaves', THE LIFE & TIMES OF TIM. I'd heard some good things about this but was disappointed. It got one laugh and that was for the phrase 'Bum Rape' which, in this context, did not mean what I was larfing at. A bum, here, was some kind of vagrant, or tramp. Not 'ass' or 'arse' as we say in the UK. Like that boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend, it's got potential but it'll have to better than jokes about prostitutes and rape to get my juices flowing.

Now that would be a good Girl Band, if you take out the one on the left.

Speaking of juices flowing, KNIGHT RIDER is back and one has to wonder why, when they give its Noughties re~launch such little thought. I wasn't particularly enthused to see the show 'back' - I was more of a STREET HAWK fan to be honest - but I gave it a whirl. I didn't realise they (and by 'they' I mean a bunch of cretins who don't understand that television should, in theory, be getting better in quality) still made efluvia like this - computers that make beep~beep noises when you tap the buttons? Still?? Lines like, "This just got interesting" (the makers of 'Friends' should have a word with the 'script' writers for that one alone) and "worse than death" made my groin ache with displeasure.

Liza sings her tribute to KNIGHT RIDER...

Unless it's meant to be like that, in which case, bravo! The production team have cobbled together an high~lariously tit~tugging pastiche of the 'action' genre. I get the feeling, though, that this is not the case. My evidence? A soldier (trained, we would have to assume, to some level of competency) is out~witted by a chick with a tatoo and a rack to boot. Nice going, one for the feminists out there! And, while I'm on the subject of it's crapness, since when did KITT become such an annoying wank~stain?

Did someone say wank~stain?

Speaking of wank~stains, MERLIN has crunched to a ball~bashingly bad ending. And we're only two episodes in. But, for me, that's it. I'm done. I could barely make it through the most recent offering - I mean, who thought that WILL MELLOR would be a good choice for anything let alone whoever the hell he was meant to be portraying. INSERT DEITY HERE, he doesn't even manage 'convincing' in TWO AND HALF PINTS... Mind you, that BIONIC S~Bag from EASTENDERS is in it next time....

This is Kevin, he works in IT...

Speaking of Bionic S~Bags, episode two of NO HEROICS proved to be no funnier than the first but there were LOLs to be had when the women attended a geek convention. Pretty accurate and damn funny. Sadly, this plot was surrounded by non~consequential mush. It survives another week though. Also surviving is ENTOURAGE which seems to have dumped the comedy in favour of 'stories', not sure about that. Anyway, it featured the oddest use of Lullaby by THE CURE I've heard. And it closed with recent 'hit' from COLD WAR KIDS. Odd indeed.

Take two vaginas into the shower?

Speaking of COLD WAR KIDS, they got sh*t pretty quickly. Their latest offering is self~indulgent and needlessly obtuse. Go back and try again guys 'cos as much as lurved your debut, this one is a stinkeroo. Also stinking up my ears was the new album from Scots rockers, TRAVIS. There's about two good songs on it. Yawn. Not boring me, however, was the debut from KATY PERRY, One Of The Boys. Musically, there's not much going on (think Pink crossed with Gwen Stefani crossed with Pink again) but lyrically there are some ear twitching lines in there like: "You're so gay and you don't even like girls" from Ur So Gay; "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes/ You PMS like a bitch" from Hot 'N' Cold; and full marks for rhyming "high maintenence" with "patience". The title track is damn fine too and I imagine it'll be burning up the radio with its erotically charged, and probably homophobic (joke), subtext. So does this mean I now have the musical taste of an eight year~old?

She's been hanging out with Lily Allen too much...

'Til the next time,

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posted by Cameron McEwan at 3:29 pm -
  • At 7:45 pm, Blogger joy said…

    Heh, I'm *so* in the minority for watching Knight Rider. I can't help it. Silly story, terrible KITT imposter, and pretty bad remake of an original.


    Pretty cars driving fast and pretty boys. (There's a reason I own all of the Fast & Furious movies.)

    I swear, I screw Nielsen demographics all to hell with how I'm all over the freakin' map with what I watch. :-)

  • At 10:00 pm, Blogger Cameron McEwan said…

    Pretty cars!

    Pretty boys!


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