|That's right, bitches!
|Can he say that? Quote of the Week
comes from CLEVELAND
in the season opener of FAMILY GUY (the 'other' good bit in this rather poor story was Stewie and Brian's discussion about which characters could understand the youngest of the Griffin clan)
. But there was strong opposition. Yup, THE SIMPSONS
had a few quotes too from their debut that were Post~Title
worthy. And they were a bit
edgy. Well, if you're Irish
. "Where are the IRA when you need them?"
tickled me muchly
along with MAYOR QUIMBY
shoehorning THE EDGE
into his middle name. Not only that but BOBA FETT
appeared in the Couch Gag! Nice.
I simply say, JUGS!!
Elsewhere in the land of animation, a new show graced the 'airwaves', THE LIFE & TIMES OF TIM
. I'd heard some good things about this but was disappointed. It got one
laugh and that was for the phrase 'Bum Rape'
which, in this context, did not
mean what I was larfing
at. A bum, here, was some kind of vagrant, or tramp. Not 'ass' or 'arse' as we say in the UK
. Like that boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend, it's got potential but it'll have to better than jokes about prostitutes and rape to get my juices flowing.
Now that would be a good Girl Band, if you take out the one on the left.
Speaking of juices flowing, KNIGHT RIDER
is back and one has to wonder why, when they give its Noughties
re~launch such little
thought. I wasn't particularly enthused to see the show 'back' - I was more of a STREET HAWK
fan to be honest - but I gave it a whirl. I didn't realise they (and by 'they' I mean a bunch of cretins who don't understand that television should, in theory, be getting better in quality)
still made efluvia
like this - computers that make beep~beep
noises when you tap the buttons? Still??
Lines like, "This just got interesting" (the makers of 'Friends' should have a word with the 'script' writers for that one alone)
and "worse than death"
made my groin ache
Liza sings her tribute to KNIGHT RIDER...
Unless it's meant to be like that, in which case, bravo!
The production team have cobbled together an high~lariously tit~tugging
pastiche of the 'action' genre. I get the feeling, though, that this is not
the case. My evidence?
A soldier (trained, we would have to assume, to some level of competency)
is out~witted by a chick with a tatoo and a rack to boot. Nice going, one for the feminists out there! And, while I'm on the subject of it's crapness
, since when did KITT
become such an annoying wank~stain?
Did someone say wank~stain?
Speaking of wank~stains
has crunched to a ball~bashingly
bad ending. And we're only two episodes in. But, for me, that's it. I'm done. I could barely make it through the most recent offering - I mean, who
thought that WILL MELLOR
would be a good choice for anything let alone whoever the hell he was meant to be portraying. INSERT DEITY HERE,
he doesn't even manage 'convincing' in TWO AND HALF PINTS...
Mind you, that BIONIC S~Bag
is in it next time....
This is Kevin, he works in IT...
Speaking of Bionic S~Bags
, episode two of NO HEROICS
proved to be no
funnier than the first but there were LOLs
to be had when the women attended a geek convention. Pretty accurate and damn funny. Sadly,
this plot was surrounded by non~consequential mush. It survives another week though. Also surviving is ENTOURAGE
which seems to have dumped the comedy in favour of 'stories', not sure about that. Anyway, it featured the oddest use of Lullaby
by THE CURE
I've heard. And
it closed with recent 'hit' from COLD WAR KIDS
. Odd indeed.
Take two vaginas into the shower?
Speaking of COLD WAR KIDS
, they got sh*t
pretty quickly. Their latest offering is self~indulgent and needlessly
obtuse. Go back and try again guys 'cos
as much as lurved
your debut, this one is a stinkeroo
. Also stinking up my ears was the new album from Scots rockers, TRAVIS
. There's about two good songs on it. Yawn. Not
boring me, however, was the debut from KATY PERRY
, One Of The Boys
. Musically, there's not much going on (think Pink crossed with Gwen Stefani crossed with Pink again)
but lyrically there are some ear twitching lines in there like: "You're so gay and you don't even like girls"
from Ur So Gay
; "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes/ You PMS like a bitch"
from Hot 'N' Cold
; and full marks for rhyming "high maintenence"
. The title track is damn fine too and I imagine it'll be burning up the radio with its erotically
charged, and probably homophobic (joke)
, subtext. So does this mean I now have the musical taste of an eight year~old?
She's been hanging out with Lily Allen too much...
'Til the next time,
Labels: Entourage, Family Guy, Katy Perry, Knight Rider Review, Life And Times Of Tim Review, Liza Minelli, Merlin Review, Nigella Lawson, No Heroics review, Russell Crowe, Stephen Fry, The Simpsons