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Monday, January 26, 2009
"A Painting Can Be Beautiful But I Don't Want To Bang A Painting"
POW! Take that artists!

Note: Vile, Wine and Jives (not to mention Oi) - a perfect description...

Quote of the Week definitely goes to Kevin from THE OFFICE, wise words my friend. Though in second place was the bizarre "we have to be careful with our knockers" from Juliana "I'm On E!" Rancic on the red carpet of the SAG awards. Long time blogites will remember my 'campaign' some time ago to get the whole world using the word 'knockers' more often. I never thought I'd see the day when that slack~jawed s~bag would be using my boob synonym of choice. Top marks to her though.

Never go out with a tennis player - love means nothing to them...

Elsewhere on telly, LOST returned with a time~traveling fest. In case you're new to this blog, time travel intrigues me although I'm pretty sure it does not exist. I mean, if it did then surely someone would have come back from the future and stopped BONEKICKERS last year. Anyway, Lost featured my fave characters Desmond and Daniel - when are these guys gonna start a kissin' an' a cuddlin'?

The Hat! The Pout!! The Fear!!!

FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS has also returned (well, in the US anyway) and I'm beginning to wonder if the show consisted purely of Rhys Darby if it would be as funny. *thinks for some time* Yes, I think it would. In fact, it would be funnier. I gargled with delight at his latest antics (won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it) in the opening two episodes though my mind starts to wander when he isn't on the screen though the "massage" scene with Kristen Schaal was exquisite.

A Conchordian representation of Daniel and Desmond from Lost

Film~wise, I caught up on some of last year's offerings, namely BURN AFTER READING and HAMLET 2 (though this ain't out in the UK 'til next month). The former was okay but way too smug whilst the latter... well, where do I start? When I first read about the premise of Hamlet 2 I thought it sounded good; a solid idea that would surely be mirthful in the extreme. Should've been but sadly not. A more miscast and misguided comedy I don't think I've seen in a looooong time.

Do You Really Want To Feed Me? More of a Korma Chameleon, etc...

What's wrong with it I hear you cry? It's got STEVE "Still Talking To Owen Wilson?" COOGAN in it, surely an indicator of some quality? Well, he is one of the main reasons this abortion was so risible. What possessed anyone in this production to let him continue with one of the worst American accents in the history of bad accents is beyond me. And his performance! Touch my tits - it was bad. Somewhere between parody and someone who no~one had the nutbags to say "stop" to, Coogo pitched his character like a tent from Woolworths - cheap and probably stolen.

It's Gest! It's Katona!! It's the original Odd Couple!!!

The whole thing had a flavour of parody, but what were they parodying? As is the case with most in the genre, it became what it appeared to be lambasting with the laughs non~existent. The makers of this should have averted their gaze towards SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH which is what Hamlet 2 looked like it was trying to acheive. Coogan's "character" (and I use the word quite wrongly) was a doppleganger of Mr G - a teacher full of his own self importance trying to teach kids drama. But the big (nay - flippin' huuuge) difference here is that Summer Heights High is successful because the people involved clearly care about what they are creating - and, crucially, there's genuine talent and humour in the Antipodean comedy.

Old!

The only positive thing I can say about this disaster was that I couldn't stop watching - with each passing scene wondering if it could get any worse. However, I will say the song in the finale was worth watching. But the makers of Summer Heights High will be wondering why Hollywood copied their idea and made it so arse~achingly poor. And now to some proper filmage, I went to the cinema to see THE READER.

Still doesn't make up for Planet Of The Apes Burto!

It's easy to see why Winslet is being bombarded with praise for her performance (though the "Supporting Actress" nods render the category laughable) as she is simply astounding in the role of hot Nazi. The whole film does rather hinge on the fact if you 'buy' the central conceit which is slightly more complex than it appears. It's beautifully shot and wonderfully told. A bit like my first wife.

This brings new meaning to the phrase casual sex.

'Til the next time,
C.

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