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Friday, February 27, 2009
"She's 16 & She Blew It Out The Box"
Yowza! Now that takes real talent.

No, not her though I'm sure she's capable - insert Poker Face gag here.

It's a pity that the comment was actually about an American Idol contestant and not some durty boy~kisser (though the two aren't mutually exclusive). Usually we'd get "pitchy dawg" from Randy J but he seems to have dumped that catchphrase in favour of suggesting extraordinary feats from young gals like we witness in this post's title. This season has been poor and despite the producers best attempts to keep the crazies in, it's been dull too.

Did Paula just release an airborne toxic event?

Dull, yes but also a mite trouser~tightening. My dry~cleaner could send his kids to college and beyond on my thoughts alone about new host Kara DioGuardi. She can sing, she can write, she can present. Yeah, so what. Little Kara is lurvely and what's more, that little gal's got a sweet little brain~box too. Ok, I'll stop the rampant sexist condesencion. Anyway, she certainly makes up for Paula's incoherent pain~killer induced ramblings. And am I the only person referring to Danny Goeky as "Dead Wife Guy"?

Just like Lost, they're getting rid of all the good/interesting ones...

Elsewhere in TVLand, LOST threw up an amusing moment. Well, I say amusing but it was more of a coincidental moment for me and the other ten people currently taking the Digital Culture course at Uni where we have been discussing the panoptic vision and the Panopticon for the past few weeks. No, I agree, not particularly funny but when John Locke turned up in this week's episode with a new name, I chuckled in the way you only hear in art~house cinemas. You see, dear reader, Locke's new name was Jeremy Bentham. And who invented the Panopticon?

First, she kisses a girl and now she kisses herself. Make your mind up luv!

That's right, Jeremy Bentham. As I said not very (if at all) funny but it was a bit of a coincidence. Even more coincidental were the facts that Red Road was on BBC2 during the same week where we were discussing surveillance and CCTV (whilst also watching the film itself) and Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait was also screened on BBC4. In that 'film' 17 cameras followed the titular footballer around for 90 minutes whereas for our film projects we film the same area from 8 different perspectives. Yup, coincidence city. Or was it....?

For three years, I hid this award...

Yes, it probably was. Anyway if you're really interested or just effin' bored (as 64% of people online are) you can see my companion piece blog which features some video, discussion and pictures relevant to the course. It's called Vintage Paint - named after VANTAGE POINT which, incredibly, we had to watch in week one of the course. Eclectic is the word you're hunting for. *coughs* So bear in mind that it's really just meant for those on the course and my tutor if/when you look HERE.

Bono called me a what? Pot, kettle, black.

And so to movies. I was pretty busy catching up on all the OSCAR films before the ceremony but I caught them all. At the cinema I took in THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON which was quite a tale indeed. Way too long to be totally frank and the hospital scenes were unnecessary at best. And that bloody narration. I feel I should point out that I don't think any film should be narrated, especially when they're pointing out the bleedin' obvious as the Pittster was often doing. And that effin' hummingbird, sigh! Having said that, I found it most enjoyable with some spectacular shots and buttock~bashingly spot~on make~up/effects. Could have been so much better though. And did they think that people had either forgotten or simply not seen Forrest Gump?

"The beard, the hair, the grease - it's for a part right?"

Also at the flicks, I took in BOLT 3~D which was much better than I thought it would be (though that's hardly a recommendation) and I lurve that song, I Thought I'd Lost You. Sticking with the theatric experience, I finally saw SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. Now whilst I don't wish to piss on anyone's chips, as it were, regarding the feel~good nature of this movie (which personally it was not particularly for me) there were a number of problems I had with this feature. I did enjoy it but the change in tone from a boy being prosecuted and tortured, quite brutally, for possibly cheating in a television show (going out "live" remember, *coughs*) to the detectives then believing him, pretty quickly, and releasing him after realising what a bloody nice bloke he is, was patronising at best.

Sonic on the streets of Newport

But we buy into 'cos Boyle & Co. show that that's how the country operates. We go from stark reality to heightened reality and the cliched denouement didn't help either. If you haven't seen it move on now. Waits... So his brother decides to end his own life just at the point when the final question is asked? He changes his "bad" ways and helps the girl on that very night and then chooses death rather than escape? That's not a choice that most people would make. It's a lazy film trait, we're only ever given two choices when there's multiple present. It was Eighties Hollywood all over with the Indians sitting watching televisions all over the country. There's more but I haven't the inclination and it seems pointless as everyone is raving about Slumdog, in much the same way Mamma Mia! ran rampant last year.

The Hoff's just been told that Mickey Rourke is playing him in a biopic.

As I said, I did enjoy it but the more I thought about it the more all the various plot devices (different from the novel it has to be said) and film cliches got up my nose. Also irritating was Woody Allen's latest near~porn, VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA. A real non~event where nothing happens (not that there's anything wrong with that - you should see my films) but after it finishes, one is really left with an emptiness and no feeling or memory (of the film) at all. Apart from, of course, the bottom~strokingly kissworthy Penelope Cruz. A great performance and worth seeing for her alone. But I guess the OSCAR already said that.

Penny - boob~scratchingly good.

Lastly in the huge movie catch~up, there's THE WRESTLER and MILK. The former was a most enjoyable outing for Mickey Rourke (who's come in for a beating on this blog in the past year or so I have to admit) but was Marisa Tomei really worth a nomination? Hardly. Capable but not outstanding by any My Cousin Vinney~esque stretch of the imagination. An enthralling tale though I did slightly tire of the endless over the shoulder shots (and cranky movement) of the Rourke~ster. Yeah we get it - it's "real" life man.

She's back, more please!

Poor Mickey though, losing out to Sean "Nice Sermon Vicar" Penn. Likewise I enjoyed Milk though the script did wander into some rather Eighties youthful optimism: "Yeah, we can do it, we can beat the system! Huzzah!" with the cast in the background acting rather too celebratory and well meaning for my liking. I'll be utterly honest though, I didn't think it was a very engaging tale and the film should have, perhaps, been made in the Nineties - I mean, don't we all just get along now? Does anyone really care? It's hard to feel the passion when the fight has been won. Although, if you think the fight hasn't been won then you'll think it's apt.

I really should bring back the "CDW of the Week Award"

'Til the next time,

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posted by Cameron McEwan at 10:14 pm -
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